What yoga has given me

As a yoga teacher, I am fascinated by/emphasize in my teaching/am personally obsessed with the notion of Divinity within us all. I believe it. I try to live it. I try to inspire others to live it. And…

As human beings, we are also, well, human. We are living squarely in the human condition every single day. We may catch clear glimpses of our Divinity and the Divinity of others. (I do nearly daily in others and at least weekly in myself!) But from moment to moment, we are human. We are imperfect, fearful, accident-prone, arrogant, mistake-making, self-centered, guilt-ridden, clever, funny, curious, problem-solving humans.

We are both human and Divine. We are This and That. And as beautiful as that shining, loving, knowing Divinity is, the human condition occasionally obscures it.

Our humanity sometimes encourages us to hide what we don’t like in ourselves, what we are ashamed or embarrassed of, and what we find unworthy. It sometimes prompts us to act as if we are someone else - similar, but different from our truth - who seems more worthy, bold, and confident. But…why? 

“Can we find ourselves in one another?” This poignant and provocative question is posed by the great meditation teacher, Sharon Salzburg. I’m not sure what her intention is in asking it, but it certainly does spur some big thinking and maybe even gets me closer to the truth about what yoga has given me. Don’t we tend to see the brightest beauty and the ugliest darkness in others while often not recognizing any of it in ourselves? 

I started a regular yoga practice 21 years ago at the suggestion of my chiropractor, who I was seeing two or three times a month for hip pain. As a distance runner, I was drawn to yoga for the stretching, subtle strengthening, and meditative qualities of yoga. I needed it for my body - I knew that - and, like running, I was really attracted to the mental calm it promised.

I’m middle-aged, a parent, a partner, a business owner, and a seeker. And my yoga practice has seen me through some of my life’s most challenging and blissful times. How? Why? Can I really credit yoga for my contentment? I don’t know. Maybe.

I do know that I don’t run 40+ miles per week anymore, and my hip doesn’t hurt. In fact, I haven’t had body aches and pain since my vigorous running days. My body is healthy and able to do pretty much everything I ask of it. I tend to be responsive, rather than reactive. I’m content most days. When my flaws play big, I’m usually able to put my behavior in perspective and move on. I guess I would call this physical and mental resilience. Yoga? At least to some extent.

But what yoga has really given me - that no other practice, ritual, habit, or way of life has given me - is connection. I’m a divine being having a human experience. Just like you are. Yoga helps me tap into the divinity to level up the human experience - so I can cultivate empathy in that very human way, bond to others in that very human way, inspire and feel inspire as only humans can. Divinity is brilliant and stunning and wise. Humanity is hopeful and loving. What a pair!

Yoga has created an approach for me to leverage the resilience inherent in every living creature and instilled in me through generations of resolute and purposeful ancestors. I practice resilience in my daily yoga practice by feeling effort in postures, experiencing and calming the fluctuations of my mind in meditation, and confronting the subtle transformations intrinsic to conversation between each inhale and exhale.

Yoga is simple. Most days it is a practice of movement, breath, and making space for all states of mind and being. I know that each practice adds resilience and connection. And some days it offers the felt sense of equanimity. And after 21 years of practice and living yoga, I believe that the most valuable discovery I’ve made through yoga is that I am divine and human. And so are you.

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What is equanimity?